"You're beautiful, and you're worth more than harming yourself."
- Demi Lovato
This quote is going on the mirror in my room.. because lately, I have to remind myself a million times a day.
I hate that cutting is still so heavily on my mind. I've been wishing and hoping and praying that the thought of it would just.. I don't know, go away on its own? But it hasn't. I've gotten rid of my blades and the thoughts are still here.
Yes, getting rid of those blades was such a big step in the right direction, but it's just that... a step. It doesn't mean the work is done, it means the work has started. I want so badly for things to just go perfectly, and exactly how I want them to go.. but that isn't the reality of the situation.
Life is messy, it's never perfect. Things will go wrong. Probably every single day. There are going to be times where I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin just wanting to make the unpleasant feelings go away. But feeling these things, it's part of being human. It's part of being alive.
And as I said a couple nights ago, I want to experience life. I deserve to experience life. I mean, I am human, right? And as I've recently come to realize, I am also very much a work in progress.
A work in progress, but still worth a lot more than harming myself.