you never really can fix a heart."
I feel like the past few days have been a struggle. My mood has just been kind of low again.
And I hate this.
I don't want this to be a daily struggle, even though I know it is.
It just feels like I'm always fighting something. Getting exercise and eating properly when I feel horrible inside, trying to sleep when my mind is racing, it just feels like it's always something.
It's frustrating, and exhausting.
But I know I have to keep going, because....maybe my life has a greater purpose than just existing.
I failed at taking my own life last year; there has to be a reason for that. Things have to get better.
"Do you have to make me feel like
There's nothing left of me?
You can take everything I have,
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper."
This song (Demi Lovato - Skyscraper) is something that keeps me strong in times like this. I don't know why; it sounds cliche, but listening to music like this really does help.
Actually, Demi Lovato in general just inspires me. So much.
"You're beautiful; and you're worth more than harming yourself." .... I find myself having to tell myself this a million times a day lately.
But tomorrow, I'll have three weeks free of self-harming again. I remember last year when three weeks felt like a lifetime, and it does again now. But I'm staying strong, one day, one hour, one minute, sometimes even one second at a time.
Stay strong. <3