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Monday, June 13, 2011

Story behind the ink.

Two weeks ago, I got two more tattoos, one across each wrist. Somehow, it's taken me this long to figure out how to explain the story behind them...and I still really have no idea how to start. But here goes...

No lies, just love.

I spent six years of my life hurting myself... cutting, burning, and for a very short time, drinking. I spent six years lying to myself, leading myself to believe that these bad habits would make things easier for me. It never did. It only made things significantly harder and more complicated.

I also spent six years hating myself entirely, mostly as a result of the self-harming.

And now, finally, I want to change. I want to be better. I need to keep healing.
I have to stop lying to myself, and start loving myself.
Hence the first half of the meaning behind the ink.

As for the other half, it's the Bright Eyes song, "No Lies, Just Love."
In the song, the guy is mainly talking about suicide in the beginning. Wanting to end everything, even being embarrassed by the honesty of a flower that is visibly withered up and dying. ...because it's hard to be that honest about feeling that bad. He just wants "to be remembered as a smiling face, not this f*cking wreck that's taken its place."

And honestly, after three attempts in one month, I can definitely relate.

But then spring comes, and things look brighter...there are good things in life that make it worth living. He realizes that death isn't what he wants.

And I've been there too...recently.
After my third attempt, something about me changed.
I want to live, and I want to live with honesty and love.

This felt like the perfect thing to get tattooed onto my body. It has so much meaning, and I never want to forget any of it.

I'll post pictures asap. :)

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